absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
