He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
