Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would fuck him just for his dog
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
