i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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