Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
