you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
