so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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