I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
