I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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