As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
