I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
