i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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