so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
