just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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