and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
