alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How does it feel to date your dad?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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