I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
