I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
where does the pee come out of this thing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
