i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize
