Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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(516): View more from New York

I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(818): View more from California

Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again

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