Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i barfeds in our rink
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
