She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will be naked everywhere
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
