There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
