I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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