have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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