Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize