Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
