k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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