I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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