you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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