Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My life is pants optional.
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