This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Houston, we have a blender
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
