I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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