Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
