Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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