I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
