I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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