what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
