I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
