I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
