I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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