you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
