Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
