she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
