I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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