It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
