I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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