I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
