whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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