I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Let's paint friendship bongs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
