At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
