I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
