his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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