Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
