Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
