my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
