i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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