They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
