Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
