Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
