I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
