Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
