don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize