you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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