Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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