found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
