singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
