I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
