I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
