how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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