Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
