dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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