he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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