Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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