She is in my trunk
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You've changed since you got that strap on
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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